Tantrums
Our four year-old was going through a period of screaming and tantrums. When she couldn’t open a door, it would set off a real siren inside her, and the arms and legs would star kicking and hitting. My tendency was to lose control myself and then discipline the child, but I was not gaining at all in that way. Even after the discipline, the child still had tantrums when she couldn’t open a door or find a book, or other article. Then one day I discovered that a calm conversation opened the way to a simple and lasting solution.
She needed to learn how to control herself, even though she was very young, and she had to begin to ask what she wanted! So I explained to her, “I would be glad to help you open the door, but you need to come and ask for help saying, ‘Please help me open the door, I can’t get it open.’ Otherwise I won’t know what you want.” After this, when a situation arose, I would wait nearby to see what she would do.
The next day I was in the kitchen and heard some crying in the bedroom. Then it quickly stopped! Our four-year-old walked into the kitchen and said, “I can’t get the drawer open, please help me.” What a victory! She had remmebered that it would not help to cry. The answer was to ask for help. That was a victory!
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Add comment August 31st, 2006
