Archive for September, 2006
Being new in the neighborhood, the children were experiencing some feelings of being “left out,” especially our two and four year old boys, who could not go to school with the others.
One morning as I prepared ahead of time for the new day, I packed each of them a special sack lunch and tucked in extra goodies–marshmellows. They were most pleased. By 9:00 a.m. they were outdoors with sack in hand, but were immediately confronted by two neighborhood children who zipped by on their bicycles saying, “We can’t play with you. We’re bicycling today.”
I heard my four year old try to entice their attention with marshmallows. But their response was, “We have gum.” Immediately I was confronted with two pitiful broken spirits saying, “They won’t play with us. Can’t we have gum, too?”
Knowing that gum would not really solve the problem, I wondered what I could do. I went to the closet and produced a large old quilt, took the children out on the front lawn, and spread it out for a picnic. This drew the immediate attention of the two neighborhood children. I called for them to come share a special picnic with marshmallows. They were there in a minute. A very rejecting experience was healed, and friendships had begun.
{sc} contributing editor for Brown Eyed Baby Boutique
September 14th, 2006
Most children occasionally take things that don’t belong to them. I had already handled this problem successfully with our first child, so I pursued the same solution with Timmy, our second. One day he came home eating a candy bar he had not paid for. I explained that things must be paid for, and we made a trip back to the store. I escorted the child in with money in his hand. We explained that the money was for the candy bar already consumed.
With Timmy my fail-safe plan didn’t work! Things got worse. He would take money from my purse to buy toys from neighborhood children. I had to leave him in the car when I went in stores. Finally, I lost control and did what all the books say not to do. I likened him to Al Capone and predicted a future in Sing Sing. My poor, trembling six year old!
After calming down, but still being desperate for a solution, I suggested he and I look in one of Mommy’s many child-rearing books. Since he didn’t know why he stole, and I didn’t know, maybe a book would. We opened a book and the first sentence was, “Some children steal beacuse they don’t feel loved.”
I turned to Timmy in shock and with tears in my eyes said, “Why, Tim, you know Mommy loves you, don’t you?” He began to cry and we hugged and kissed and comforted each other.
He never took anything again. Later he told his second grade teacher, “I used to take things when I was little, but I don’t anymore!”
{sc}
September 13th, 2006
Our two-year old granddaughter was at the potty-training age, and everything had become quite confusing. One day I hit on the idea of setting the stove timer for every two hours. I thought perhaps this would help her set the habit of becoming conscious that she might have to go to the bathroom. She thought this was very special! She began to listen for the timer to go off. Then she would run to her potty chair. She soon found there were no more uncomfortable diapers, and the reward was the privilege of wearing training panties. Needless to say, pressure for both the child and the parents was off.
{sc}
September 12th, 2006
Every mother is familiar with the never-give-up wants and wishes of her children. Mary expresses her longing for a particular doll. Tommy daily hounds both his mother and dad for a bike. Later it will be for a car or a special trip. Whatever the thing desired, a child apprears to believe there’s merit in persisting. Sometimes we’re driven to exclaim, “I heard you. I know what you want.” and our tone says “Now that’s enough; I don’t want to hear it one more time.”
We can’t always give our children what they ask. And it would not be best for them if we could. However, we can listen to their requests, and share why we might not be able to meet them. Our children are gifts to us and we need to tenderly care for each of their needs whether it be spiritually, emotionally or financially.
Be sure to let them know that you have heard them and will consider their requests and give them according to what you feel is best for them.
{sc}
September 11th, 2006
Before you start your baby’s bath make sure you have all of your supplies ready to go. Keep a phone within reach and have clothes, towels, baby shampoo and rubbing alcohol for newborns with their cords on.
One very important reminder, never leave your baby for any reason.
Keep your room warm and make sure you don’t have a draft. Your water heater should be set to below 120 degrees (this will protect your baby and also save you money) Test the bath water on the inside of your wrist, it should feel comfortable.
Try and keep the umbilical cord from getting wet. If it does get wet, dab rubbing alcohol on it after the bath.
For more information, please read our full article on Bathing Your Baby.
September 10th, 2006
Teaching kids not to conform to the media’s image of people can be tough. Instead try and teach kids about acceptance and always point out their strengths. Everyone has good qualities that you can build on. With children seeing about 350 advertising messages daily, the job may be harder than you think. What about how you model acceptance to your kids. Do you sit around with your girlfriends and judge other’s bodies? Do you say things like, “Does this make me look fat?”, I wish I had a smaller waist, longer hair. skinnier hips, etc? You can make a difference in how your child see themselves. Talk about your strengths and what makes you unique…your kids will catch on.
September 10th, 2006
In the morning, if you have a son or daughter that has trouble keeping their minds on what they are suppose to accomplish, try a surprise can!
Decorate a coffee can, (use your childs name on it) and call it for example, Donna’s Surpise Can. Then explain that each morning she got downstairs, dressed and with her bed made, by 7:00 a.m. she could open her Surprise Can.
Some of the surprises you might include in that can: a stick of gum, a note saying, “I love you,” lifesavers, a quarter, a new pencil, some jelly beans, gum drops, and so forth.
You will find out that once the habit is established they will probably not need that surprise can any longer.
{sc}
September 8th, 2006
One most helpful thing to me is to give your child a time to respond to certain situations. For example, when a child has to do something they don’t want to do or don’t like to do, such as go to the dentist or have a special speech class, assure that child you know they don’t like it, and it is going to be hard. Then give your child time to accept it. Support them with understanding instead of arguing or demanding, “this is just the way it is! You are going to have to do it!”
I have found that if I try to understand children’s feelings and encourage them, this eliminates a lot of problems of authority–the power sturggle. I’ve seen the negative attitude change to a positive one when they sense my support and understanding.
So let’s turn off the “instant” that our society today insists on. You know what i mean, like standing in front of the microwave and saying hurry, and give them time!
(sc)
September 7th, 2006
A good many years ago, when our children were small, I disliked the habit I saw in some homes of a family member saying at the table, “Oh, I don’t like that” or “I don’t want that.” (Maybe they had neve tasted it.) I read a suggestion which helped us in our home and became a fun thing.
When a new or not-so-familiar dish was served, we asked, “Do you want three bites (to try it) or a helping?” This worked. They were interested and learned not to pass up foods without trying them. Likes and dislikes after tasting three bites were respected.
Whatever works moms and dads…..and this might help!
(sc)
September 6th, 2006
School is beginning and your children have to adjust to a time schedule now that summer is over and staying up late and sleeping in has to end!
You may find yourself going round and round trying to get breakfast over and get them ready for school–not saying anything about first getting them out of bed! After thinking about it, maybe the smart thing would be to get them each an alarm clock and make them fully responsible to get up and ready in time. ( I know your saying it will never work!)
Would you believe, when we tried this, the very first morning they had thirty minutes to relax before leaving for school! The next few weeks they were much happier when they left–for a number of reasons: they didn’t hear me yell at them - it did them good to feel they could really do something on their own- and they had enough time, so that they enjoyed doing little things for me before they left.
Invest in an ALARM CLOCK!
(sc)
September 5th, 2006
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