Archive for November, 2006
Mom always has to be right. Mom is never wrong. Even when mom is wrong, she is right! Ever hear these words or even say them? The same can be said of Dad’s!
The reason we as mom’s and dad’s find it hard to admit mistakes is that most of us get our feelings of self-worth or fulfillment from our performances.
To make matters worse, the doing or perfomance we demand of ourselves is 100 percent perfection and then we transfer these feelings and expect perfection from our children!
When self-worth is based on performance, we spend most of our time trying to prove we’re not failures and that’s why we find it hard to see and admit our mistakes, even to ourselves, let alone to our children.
Is there any way to break the cycle? I believe there is. First, the truth is we are all imperfect. So, admitting our mistakes to ourselves as well as our children when we blow it is healthy. Second, we need to convey to our children that we love them unconditionally, mistakes or no mistakes. Thirdly, as parents, we need to assure our children that they are accepted for who they are not on their performances.
(sc) contributing editor for Browneyedbabyboutique
November 14th, 2006
The primary objective of parenting is to produce a confident, independent adult. Parents haven’t failed if their child gets a punch in the nose or makes a mistake. Parents fail when their children remain children.
Children are, of course, not ready to assume adult responsibility until they are adults. It would be a mistake to force them into independence before their time, but we do need to have independence in mind as our ultimate goal.
The way to prepare children for adulthood without overwhelming them with more than they can handle is by providing freedom within boundaries. The benefits of this system are many. By being able to make choices, the child develops a sense of individuality that is very important in later life.
Basically, freedom within boundaries means allowing a child to do whatever he chooses among options or within limits which you set.
The general rule of thumb is that if a child is ready to bear the consequences of his decision or choice, then you can let him make that decision for himself.
(sc)
November 13th, 2006
We can talk about all the options women have today, but our own personal choices are rather limited. There are seasons in our lives when we feel “stuck” and don’t have all the choices we would like to have. Mothers of young children, especially mothers with newborn babies, go through periods when the most basic choices are –when they can eat, sleep, or go the bathroom—because they are determined by someone else’s schedule and needs!
We can not always choose our circumstances but we can always choose our response to our circumstances.
So new mom, old mom, or even inbetween, although your options may be limited at this time in your life, respond in the positive and choose to be content in the moment your in!
(sc)
November 10th, 2006
It is often difficult to watch our children liking different things than we like. Sometimes your daughter may choose the red pajamas when you would like her to wear the blue. Your son may join the chess club instead of the wrestling team. When we feel such frustrations, it would be a good time to remind ourselves that we are here to meet our children’s needs. They are not here to meet ours.
You are bound to make a few mistakes along the way, but at least you can be actively working toward creating a confident, independent adult, rather than someone you can control all his or her life. You wouldn’t want permanent control even if you had it.
It is hard to let go but let go you must!
(sc)
November 9th, 2006
Although your kids hopefully didn’t overdo it too much when eating candy on Halloween, at least that is just one day.
If your not careful though, they could be eating left over candy for months.
Here is just a few suggestions for that left over Halloween candy: Milky Way Bars? Make a cake or pie with them. Let your child go through his bag of treats and pick out one or two pieces for the week. Pack up the rest and save it for birthday parties, or some other special occassion!
If you do this you won’t be having to pull them down off the walls as they swing from light fixture to light fixture. 
(sc) contributing editor for Browneyedbabyboutique
November 8th, 2006
When the work load gets particularly heavy, and for new moms that is a given, there is comfort to be found in making a list of the duties to be performed. The advantages of writing down one’s responsibilities are threefold: (1)You know your aren’t going to forget anything. (2) You can guarantee that the most important jobs will get done first. Thus, if you don’t get finished by the end of the day, you will have a least done the items that were most critical. (3) The tasks are crossed off the list as they are completed, leaving a record of what has been accomplished.
(sc) contributing editor for Browneyedbabyboutique
November 7th, 2006
The problem with out society is that we want instant results, instant self-gratification, which will produce instant rewards. And raising a baby is never done instantaneously. It takes years to grow that baby into an adult. Hang on, you are achieving. It may take awhile to see it, but its is happening. It’s just hard to wait twenty years!
(sc)
November 6th, 2006
We are responsible for training our children with the best of our hearts and minds, but mistakes, failures, genuine disappointments, and a child’s choice may change things drastically. They’re part of life, and I’ve found that it helps to plan on their coming to pass!
From time to time, young and weary mother, you are going to yell the wrong response, attack when you should be still, lose any semblance of self-control, and make a first-class mess of things. But take Heart! One day you will say, “Well, what do you know? I did do some things right, after all!!”
(sc)
November 3rd, 2006
I was terrified of making a mistake in raising our babies. I read everything I could, talked with other mothers, including my own, and then found out much later, that mistakes are part of growing. I even found that I didn’t need to feel guilty about the wrong choices or the wrong decisions I’d made. In fact, around the age of forty, I learned that it was all right to experience failures and that to “blow it” with your children or your mate was pretty routine stuff.
So mom, just relax, do the best you can, and love those babies everyday and it will all come out in the wash. Ask me, I have four beautiful daughters and they grew up into wonderful women in spite of the mistakes!!
(sc) contributing editor for Browneyedbabyboutique
November 2nd, 2006
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